THE LAST ARGUMENT
by Donna McIntosh
Summary: This is what I wished had happened after their last argument.


Title: THE LAST ARGUMENT

Author: Brokeback Mountain

Rating: FRAO R

Warning: Adult M/M situations

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx; not me.

Summary: This is what I wish had happened after their last argument.

THE LAST ARGUMENT

"Try this one," said Jack "and I'll say it just one time. Tell you what, we could a ……." He turned to see Ennis's back, trembling; shaking with emotion. He crossed the distance between them; placed both hands on Ennis' shoulders; rested his head against the back of Ennis's

"I love you Ennis," his voice hoarse with emotion.

"That's all I want in this world, is to love you."

"I…a….me too."

"You can't even say it to me? Out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"Jack…."

"Say it, Ennis." He turned him around so they were face to face.

"I need to hear it. I know you love me. Please….just say it."

"I love you." The words were mumbled, barely audible.

"SAY IT!"

"I love you!" He grabbed Jack in a bear hug, "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

Jack placed his hands on both sides of Ennis's face and pulled him close for a kiss.

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

"I do love you, Jack. Always have. That's ain't never been the problem."

"I know. But we gotta fix this, Ennis. We gotta fix this right now. Neither one of us can go on like this any longer."

"That's just it, Jack. There ain't nothin we can do to fix it."

"Yes there is. We'll figure it out."

"Ain't no figurin out to do. You're goin back home to Texas and I'm stuck here. Can't change that."

Jack released him and took a few steps away; trying to think.

"Ennis, your daddy ever tell you somethin you found

out later wasn't true? Not a lie, exactly, just something he said, that wasn't the way it turned out to be?"

"Jack, what's this got to do with anything?"

"Just answer, Ennis. Did he?"

"Yeah, I 'spose so. Told me once that our dog got sick and died and I found out later that he had shot him."

"Pa's sometimes tell their boys stuff, that ain't always the truth. Not meanin to lie, necessarily, just things that don't turn out to be true. It happens. My Pa told me lots of stuff that later wasn't the way he said.

"What I'm getting at is this, our Pa's told us stuff they thought we should know; and it wasn't always right. This stuff your Pa said 'bout, guys like us; that wasn't right, Ennis.

He told you it was wrong for two men to be together. I'm sure that's what he believed; that's why he said it; but that don't make it right, just 'cause it was your Pa that said it."

"But Jack, it wasn't just Pa. Everybody hates people like us."

"Not true, Ennis. Lots of people don't care. Feel like it's none of their business. They're the ones that's right! It ain't nobody's business who anyone else wants to sleep with. There ain't no law says we can't live together, or be together. There's been people like us since the bible times; and there always will be; ain't nothing ever gonna change that.

Ain't right that we have to live in fear of somebody findin out!"

"May not be right, Jack, but that's the way it is."

Jack came back to him then, caressing the side of Ennis' face.   
"Don't have to be that way, if we don't let it. We can be smart about things. Stay safe. Keep each other safe."

"Jack, I ain't ready to be dead yet!" Ennis pulled free and walked a few steps away, needing the distance between them.

Jack walked back over to their camp site; sat down on the log by the empty fire pit.

"Ennis, don't you ever just need me? Need to be hearin my voice, or standin next to me fixin supper, or layin next to me at night? Don't you ever think of them things?

There was a pause before Ennis could answer. He walked over and sat beside Jack on the log.

"Only every single day and night of my life, is all."

Jack reached over and took Ennis's hand; holding it between his two.  
"We gotta fix this now, Ennis. How much child support you got left?"

"Huh? Six months. Jenny turns 18 in November. What's that got to do with anything?"

"That's $750. How much you got in the bank?"

"Not that much; little over $400. Why?"

"I told you before, I got money. Let me lend you the rest. You can pay Alma off, and you'll be free of Riverton."

"Now wait a minute here. I can't do that. It's my responsibility, not yours."

"Just hear me out. I already decided what I need to do. I'm divorcing Lureen and movin up to Lightning Flat. No sense goin out and buyin a place when I already got one. It's good land, good ground and in a good location. Small town; everybody knows me already, knows I been married and have a boy. Wouldn't raise no eyebrows at all, if I was to move back home to help the old man run the place. He's too old to do much but run it into the ground anyway. It's a big place and he ain't usin half of it. It would be a natural thing for me to hire someone; someone who knows about ranchin; which stock to buy, which grasses to plant; all that ranchin stuff that you have learned first hand over the years. You got all the knowledge in the world, Ennis, and I need it. We could pull your trailer up there and won't nobody be the wiser who's livin where or who's sleepin where."

"I'm sure your Pa will have somethin to say 'bout that."

"Ain't none of his business. He ain't gonna say nothin to no one, he's so ashamed he's got a queer for a son, he'd deny it to his last breath if it ever came out. We can do this, Ennis. We can take that ranch over, fix it up like it used to be. The old man ain't got no say it in. It's Momma's place. Come down to her from her family. I been telling them for years I was gonna bring you and move back up there. Pa never believed it; Momma'll be happy as a clam to have her boy home again."

"Jack, it ain't right, you payin off my debts like that."

"I won't be payin off your debts! I'll be loanin the money to you. You can pay me back when we start sellin stock. This would be a 50/50 deal here. I got the place and the money but that don't do me any good without the knowledge and experience that you have. Together, we'd have all we need. "

"You make it all sound like a business deal and it's not."

"I know that, Ennis. Sure, it's a risk. But life is a risk. If you don't never take any risks you might just as well throw in your cards and quit! Ain't no guarantees in life. But this would be a chance for us; the best chance that I can see."

Ennis sat and stared out across the empty fire pit to the beautiful lake and mountains beyond.

"If they find out; we're dead!"

"IF! We can be real careful in town. Won't nobody be knowin or carin what goes on out at the ranch. We can stay in the trailer, if you want; or the house. It's a big old place and the upstairs ain't been used in years. We could fix it up for us; got a bathroom up there too. Folks won't be poking 'round. They ain't that kind."

"Things always get found out."

"Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't."

"We'd be gambling with our lives."

"Odds are on our side though. Ain't been no murders in Lightning Flats for more than 50 years."

"Never been much of a gambler."

"People change."

"You don't give up, do you?"

"Nope."

"You really think 'bout me, all them times like you said?"

"Them and more. Remember that time we stayed in your friends cabin? Remember we showered together? I think about that a lot; every time I shower. Turned the page on the calendar at work last month and there was a picture of some sheep. Took me right back up on Brokeback and that summer we first met. You're on my mind constantly, Cowboy. Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of you, not thinking 'bout you. And every single night when I lay my head down on that pillow, I'm thinking 'bout you, wishing you were there beside me."

"I thought it was just me. I think 'bout you all the time too, Jack. Can't get you outta my mind no matter how hard I try."

"That's 'cause you love me." Jack grinned up at him.

"I do for a fact, Bud, but this scares the shit out of me."

"I know it does. But, Ennis, this is our chance. We need this time together. We been lovin each other all these years; don't you think we deserve a little happiness?"

"You might get tired of me. Might find out our getaways are great but the day to day livin together is a different thing."

Jack moved closer and took Ennis in his arms.

"Yeah, I know. No more good byes. No more sleepin alone every night, no more wakin up alone every mornin, no more eatin supper alone, drinkin alone. None of that stuff.

Just the two of us; layin down together everynight, sleepin wrapped 'round each other, wakin up with our legs all tangled together; workin side by side every day, building a life together. It would be a lot different all right. Wouldn't have to sit 'round waitin for a postcard sayin when I could see you; wouldn't have no more 14 hour drives to see you; wouldn't have my guts torn out every time we had to say good bye."

"Jack, I…."

"You love me. Say it again. I need to hear it. I need to know you want this as bad as I do."

"I love you, Jack. Don't ever doubt that."

"Then let's do this. Let's do it right now. I'll follow you to Riverton. I got a good hitch on my truck; so I can pull your trailer. We can get you squared away with Alma and head on out. C'mon." He stood up; pulling Ennis with him. "Let's do this. We owe it to ourselves."

"I don't like owin nobody nothin." Ennis said, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"Me neither. Are you with me?"

"Been tellin you no for 20 years now; you still ain't accepted that for an answer."

"I haven't and I won't. We belong together; anythin else is just wrong."

"Guess I could always go out and get another job if the one with you don't work out."

"Don't think you'll have to worry none 'bout that." Jack said, taking him in his arms again.

"Can we really do this, Jack? Ain't you the least bit afraid?"

"Yes, we can do this, and we're going to! As to being afraid? I get afraid of lots of things but I still do them. I'm afraid of flyin, but I have to do it some for the business. I hate it, but I do it. I get afraid driving in heavy traffic; like the time I drove to Dallas. Hated it; but I did it. Scared the shit out of me; but I made it.

Lots of things in life are scary; some more so than others. This one will be worth it, I promise you."

"The two of us livin together; doin stuff together; it'd be a mighty fine life." Ennis had to agree, then added, "Sure your Pa won't give you no trouble over this?"

"Oh hell, Ennis, I'm sure he will. That's just him; the way he is. He's a miserable old man with a mean mouth on him; but it'd be a small price to pay to be with you."

"Words can hurt."

"Yes they can. And they can heal too. They can take two lonely hearts and put them back together again as one; if we let them. That's what your words do for me. They make me whole again. Never had that feelin with Lureen; nor anybody else; just you."

Ennis buried his face in Jack's neck and just breathed him in. Jack! Every minute of every day! Could it be possible? Could they really make this dream come true?

"Got a place for my horses up there?"

"Got a barn. Ain't been used in years but we could make it passable."

"Have to get a phone put in the trailer so's the girls could reach me."

"Phones are good."

"Guess we better get movin then. Horses been trailered a long time and got a long ride ahead of them."

"We can let them out for a while in Riverton while you get your business taken care of and I can hitch the trailer up and see to them."

They each walked to their trucks, paused for a moment with doors opened, took one look back at each other and dashed back into each others arms; mouths crashing, arms struggling to pull each other closer; bodies straining together. Whether it was one kiss or a hundred; it was impossible to tell. The stillness of the campsite was broken only by the slight sucking noises their kisses made and the barely audible moans of pleasure. They clung to each other for several moments; trying to regain their senses, catch their breath; Jack pulling on Ennis' jacket collar and Ennis touching foreheads again and again.

They left the campsite then, each in his own truck and headed for Riverton and Lightning Flat beyond. It was a terrifying thing they were doing, but together they found the strength to overcome their fears; most of them anyway; at least got them down to a manageable level.

The End


End file.
